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You know what is the Oedipus complex
Surely, you have ever heard your child or some particular child say things as I love mom, you are mine and no one else? And if we told you that these phrases have a somewhat controversial psychological explanation. It’s time for you to know the Oedipus complex!.
When we talk about the Oedipus complex, we refer to one of the natural psychosexual stages that the child is going through during his growth (specific case of the male) where he himself feels a certain sexual attraction towards the mother who becomes white of massive demonstrations of mass affectionthat obviously become evident, but they are understood, they are typical of growth. This process arises in the age between the 3 and 6 years that is when the awakening of sexual libido begins or rather, the phallic phase of development and is considered a normal stage that should not leave greater consequences if it is exceeded correctly.
An important point is that the child’s complex can lean towards either of the two parents finding that, when sexual attractiveness turns to the mother, it is called a positive Oedipus complex while, if it is oriented towards the father, it is known as a complex ofNegative Oedipus. Depending on how the cases are raised, the child will feel rivalry towards the parent who has not avoided sexual fixation manifesting a certain degree of rejection or zeal.
Where does the name of Oedipus come from?
For those who do not know, Oedipus’ theory was studied and presented by the imposing psychologist Sigmund Freud who was based on a Greek tragedy to explain how inevitably a son, manifests sexual attraction towards his mother wishingtake your place.
The story treats Oedipus as the abandoned son of Layo and Yocasta who at birth was predicted by an oracle as his father’s future murderer and his mother’s holder. Layo, upon learning of such a prediction, gives Oedipus to a servant to leave him to his fate in a hill of Citerón;But the pastor does not meet the mandate and gives it to the king of Corinth, Pólibo, and his wife Mérope who raises him as if it were his own son.
Unfortunately, when Oedipus comes to adult life, he begins to listen to rumors that the kings of Corinth are not their parents and consult an oracle to clear doubts. He warns him of the disastrous prophecy and to avoid killing who he considers is his father, he flees his protection. Then one day, walking along the roads, he encounters Layo without knowing that he is his parent, who was traveling with his Herald Polizontes. Both, they demand from Oedipus yield the passage of the road. However, he does not do it quickly and because. After that, Oedipus married Yocasta for whom after learning that she is her true mother, she committed suicide.
Psychosexual phases and the Oedipus complex
In the natural order of the growth process, some psychosexual phases are contemplated that will mark the sexual identity of the child in the future and are considered completely normal. The experience of each of them as well as their correct overcoming, will be vital for a correct healthy emotional and sexual attitude in adulthood:
- Oral stage: contemplates the first 18 months of the child’s life.
- Anal stage: 18 months to 3 years of age.
- Phallic stage: between 3 and 6 years.
- Latency stage: it starts at 7 years and extends until the beginning of puberty.
- Genital stage: it appears with puberty and extends from now on.
However, the Oedipus complex according to Freud is experienced by children in the phallic stage or phase that is when they begin to observe each part of their body with greater care and make comparisons. When this happens, the male note that he has a phallus, but that his mother does not;From what he assumes he has been castrated by her father and although he feels love towards her, he cohifies from a total demonstration for fear of doing the same thing. Obviously, that is what Freud’s theory explains, which is still widely discussed.
Manifestations of the Oedipus complex in the child
During the phallic stage, children develop the Oedipus complex, giving signs of intense affection towards the parent on whom they have concentrated their attention that is usually the mother. They are affectionate, demanding care demanding, give details such as cards or flowers that they find on the floor, say expressions as you are only mine or nobody loves you like me mom;While the father is challenged or refused even reaching disobedience or confrontation leading irritating situations such as tantrums or licks.
What should parents do before the Oedipus complex?
Understanding that this stage is normal in all children, for parents it will be more bearable. In the case of the mother, the ideal, is to accept the praise of her son in a good way, but when he shows jealousy to the father, he must clarify whenever she is her mother, that dad is Mom’s couple and that both love each otherIn addition to loving him. On the other hand, the father must arm himself with a lot.
Another important thing that should be considered, is that the Oedipus complex is a theory that does not give way to a concrete reality and that in addition to being outdated, it was not entirely accepted in the field of debate of psychoanalysis. So, it is not necessary to pay too much attention to the child’s behavior as if it were a problem that will necessarily generate future disorders. It is only a possible explanation to a stage of psychosexual development that naturally disappears.
The Oedipus complex in women
In the case of girls, we would not talk about Oedipus complex but Electra complex where according to psychologist Carl Gustav Jung, the same situation is evidenced as in men but directed towards the father. It is said that girls usually manifest an excessive desire for attention by rivaling with the mother who is the figure that gets in their desire. As in children, this complex develops in the phallic stage and must disappear naturally with the passing of time. It is worth saying that this theory has not been accepted by the research community of psychoanalysis, however, it is the counterpart exposed by Freud and continues to give much to talk about.
Consequences of the Oedipus complex
Strangely, cases have been observed where some men do not seem to overcome the phallic stage of psychosexual development being psychologically linked to the mother or father even in adulthood. When this happens, it becomes more difficult for the person to achieve a stable love relationship, linking sentimentally with someone else or even, it can manifest sexual impotence, since unconsciously feels that it is betrayed to their mother.
If this is the case, already the Oedipus complex is not considered a stage but a disorder that should normally be treated with therapies. Those who suffer from this problem are seen in society as individuals who manifest some of these characteristics:
- They have little or no independence from their mother, even economically.
- They need constant approval even for the slightest things such as: What color of shirt use in an important joint.
- They want to please mom taking her for a walk, buying gifts, they are highly attached and ultimately, they behave as an eternal suitor.
Obviously, this severely affects the perception of any woman about her possible or current spouse accusing him modernly of mamitis and not cutting the umbilical cord. The wife, later occupies the role of a rival that the father had before and will have to compete practically with his mother -in.
Within the theory, it is proposed that women who will be stuck in the phallic stage manifest in adulthood an intense search for their father figure in each romantic couple who manage to have. This means that they will not choose a man dependent on his real needs but in the characteristics that his father has lived a constant frustration and, like man, to be unstable. To overcome it, in the same way, the woman must assume that she has a problem and that she needs professional help to understand that she has already grew up and that she is free to choose someone completely different from what she recognizes as a model.