The friendship between a man and a woman was considered impossible or illusory
Introduction
What is friendship?
Before talking about man-woman friendship, we must first define friendship, this notion that we have used from our childhood. When confirming Western culture, it can be considered as a voluntary relationship between two individuals that is not based on social or economic interests, kinship or sexual attraction. Reciprocal acceptance, the desire for courtship, the intimacy that unites the 2 people, the trust, psychological or even material support, emotional interdependence and duration are elements that make up this friendship.
Developing
Until a few decades ago, friendship between a man and a woman was considered impossible or illusory. It was considered a form of romantic or sexual attraction.
Women and men do not have the same type of friendship.
The main theme in the consolidation of a friendship between girls and boys is based on the social differentiation of the two sexes, present from birth. It is this same separation that would be at the origin of the constitution of sexual identity and social roles corresponding to each sex. As a result, boys and girls are attracted to different activities and incorporate specific types of interactions that hinder the creation of a man-woman friendship.
For a long time it has been considered that women maintain their friends through discussions, confidences and sentimental intimacy, while men tend to approach through common activities. But in recent years, new studies have shown that these trends are eroding seriously, since women want to get closer and closer during joint activities and men reveal their feelings more.
The problem of sexual attraction
Managing sexual attraction is the delicate point of intersex friendship. Indeed, from 20 to 30% of men and 10 to 20% of women recognize the existence of a sexual attraction in the framework of a friendly relationship between men and women.
Studies show that men are most frequently attracted to their friends of the opposite sex. This could be explained by the fact that the social role of man would justify a claim of the most important sexual factor or for the image of the woman returned by our company. Other authors, such as Rubín, believe that it is due to the inability of the human being to perceive the meaning of the clues of intimacy that unites them. In other words, the man would mislead the still friendly signs of his friends.
Sexual attraction is a problem in friendships between men and women for several reasons:
- Would contaminate the moral and social relationship that excludes physical contact in favor of psychic contact.
- Aliena irremediably to affected individuals and participates in the degradation of the relationship.
- Transforms the friendly relationship into an interested party, which is incompatible with the altruistic ideals of friendship.
It favors the appearance of a theatrical facet of personality, put into play to attract and seduce the other, reducing authenticity, sincerity and spontaneity, essential for true friendship, researchers have shown that, in most cases, there is always aminimum attraction between the two. Most of them avoid denouncing it, considering that the statement seriously compromised the beautiful friendship born between the two. This attraction, in particular, could put into play the delicate feelings of exclusion and appropriation.
Two different worlds
Several studies have shown that men and women stand out in several constituent links of friendship: centers of interest, sensitivity, way of expression of feelings, communication codes, particular way of being that leads to certain type of reaction or behavior … theGender identity could be at the origin of these deep differences. However, it is obvious that two people are more likely to form a friendship if they have things in common.
conclusion
Men and women with friends of the opposite sex claim that these relationships are less competitive than same -sex friendships and less tense than couples. We also notice: better knowledge of the opposite sex. Man-woman friendship seems to be able to promote the understanding of the opposite sex and its codes. A deep knowledge of oneself. Friendship between men and women allows people to discover and exploit unknown aspects of themselves: we talk about censored sensibilities.
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