The art of loving and the study of jealousy
This essay is an in -depth study about jealousy and has been carried out based or putting a thought that the author of the book The art of loving has left that is the separation of marriages and couples, whether homosexual or heterosexual, which paying attention to the factors of the separations of the couples is caused by jealousy, and here in this trial it is addressed what is needed to be jealous in a couple. The actions that a couple of the couple makes either unconscious or aware is what leads us to have the famous jealousy, and also here the statistics in Mexico of how many marriages and divorces are there. Jealousy not only occur in a marriage and couples but also in friends and here each thing already mentioned is explained in detail.
Introduction
In this essay, the book of the art of love where the author explains that “the human being lives in a continuous separativity that can only be resolved by love” (Fromm, 1956) was taken as a basis. The author addresses that love is an action, a decision that alone takes a person. Erick Fromm states in his book that current society is the deep need to complete the state of separation and for this it is tried to overcome it through alternative roads that do not achieve complete satisfaction. The author explains that the deepest need of man is to abandon the prison of loneliness. But what do I want to get to all this?, that the author in the book only mentions the importance of love, but where is the feeling contrary to love? Hate is the feeling contrary to love, but well, where does it lie? It simply lies from the action of jealousy, an action that begins with something simple that is little in constant growth taking it to a cycle and not only the cycle of jealousy but the cycle of again being alone. This little feeling leads to hatred, and I have to say that it is a very interesting and very important feeling to not be addressed, and as mentioned above, not only the biological science that is based on the search for the substancethat cause jealousy, but also touching religious issues according to what the Christian Bible says about jealousy and see if they are functional for the daily life of a person.
Developing
One of the rarest feelings in the universe is that of jealousy, many people only know that they have them, but they have never put themselves to think about how they are created in the body. Regularly people only see the cause of jealousy, the action that the couple could or may not have done to provoke that feeling. I agree with the author in saying that love is an art, that love is an action and of course agree with the author that all people are based on the action of being loved, not on the action of loving other people. Love for some people is a force a blessing that God has allowed them to have. People take love as a force since in the Christian religion they are told that "God is love" (1 John 4: 8), that is why people take love as a force, as a power because they see that they see thatGod can do everything and as God is love they believe that love can do everything. The author says "if we do not love ourselves we will not be able to love anyone else" (Froomm, 1956), and this brings to memory what the Bible says "you will love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39)which indicates that you first have to love yourself to be able to love someone else. The author mentions these things a lot in his book that "love is an act, a force is life, that there are no breeds, genres, age and ethnicities that cannot and practice the act of loving". (Fromm, 1956).
You can notice today that there are many problems both in economic, social and even in the spiritual, we can think that the root of the problem is because the lack of love towards others. At present you can see that we live an individualistic life where we are not interested in knowing what is happening in the lives of the people around us.
Speaking of the problems of society, one of which it is alarming and we must pay attention to it is the separation between couples.
Jealousy is part of a love relationship. When someone delivers, at least, to be corresponded in the same way. Decompensations can generate tension and bad interpretations. There are many factors, so marriages are separated and one of the most spoken is infidelity and that is what leads us to jealousy. The word jealous comes from making what is the same to be alert to watch. "Jealousy is an irrational reaction composed of deep penalty, a suspicion or concern about the possibility that the loved person reaches attention to another" (López, 2013). Jealousy is the pain of a frustration in which the person who feels jealous is afraid. In fact, entering this dynamic is always dangerous "puts stability in check and creates difficult situations to solve, both for the jealous and for the alleged unfaithful" (Lozoya, 2013).
Jealousy is activated simply by seeing the loved person talking with another from which a small competition is received, whether emotional, because the person already said the rival feels the same for the jealous person. Jealousy is experienced by response to a threat or real loss of a value, especially sexual, due to a real or imaginary rival. "The presence of a three -people triangle is required, the jealous, the cleado and the rival" (López, 2013). It is mentioned that it can be imaginary because perhaps there is the possibility that the jealous person is doing lake theories or hypotheses not happened or that it is not happening. This brings to memory one of the most frequent syndromas that people do not know what they have and said syndroma is known as Otelo syndrome. Otelo syndrome is based on "the absolute certainty of infidelity, characterized by morbid jealousy that may arise from multiple conjugal concerns" (Esparrago, 2011).
Jealousy can be so dangerous in a person that they can make him believe that the beloved person is with another person in an appointIt is through this illusion or erroneous thought that the jealous person falls into anger towards the celestial person. "Jealousy cannot exist if the rival person is not" (Carlen, 2009), that person who causes the jealous person to feel anger when he sees the celler having time of communion or communication with the rival person. This neglects the security that the jealous person has, showing that he is insecure, but it becomes insecure because he already passed through a similar situation, jealousy is not being justified since they are not good for any kind of relationship butrather, there is a theory that because the person is insecure. In any case, the security and self – esteem of the jealous person would have to be treated.
In just in the country of Mexico, for every 100 couples, there are 10 divorces. This is a somewhat high figure that indicates that people no longer want to be linked to their partner, leaving their children, their houses, cars or anything else that may continue to unite it. It is sad to see that thanks to jealousy marriages or couples make the decision to not be sharing life together. I am witness that trust can be restored, in any case that life is lost, and that life can be continued as if nothing had happened, but the question of this would be if it is getting used to jealousy oravoiding?
Many people divorce because there is betrayal but what is betrayal. For some, it is just having sex out of marriage. For others, betrayal goes through feeling;that the other is emotionally connected to someone else: talks late with a co -worker, or an intimate relationship with another person. For the rest it has to do with something hidden. This can involve hidden email accounts, cell phones, online activities or the lack of information about the person, expenses habits that were not had before etc. In case there is no universal definition for deception. So if there is no definition, why do the couples separate? We could say for the monotonous but there would have to be done another investigation where the separations of the separations are seen and not so much of the jealousy.
Analysis
The human being being union with another human being is happy but when jealousy is presented, it is there where the fights are presented and harmony is broken because from jealousy the discussions between the couple for the time living together or for the foul beginof punctuality between ostros aspects.
Seeing the information of the Jealousy Triangle and how these have effect on people to create illusions, it can be affirmed that jealousy is effectively an important point to end some relationship and it is said to end because it is healthy to be in a relationship where thejealousy are always present or most of the time.
conclusion
Love is a very important feeling that makes people in constant communion, but jealousy is the main provocative of the separation of couples, already knowing this the continuous struggle of a couple is that of evading jealousy, of havingcorrect and complete communication so that jealousy does not destroy the relationship they have decided to build.
It is each other’s decision, speaking of the couple, that they want to end the jealousy, it is the decision of both if you finish the relationship. The problems in marriage or in the couple as a courtship are always two people and not only affects those involved but also their surroundings. Once one with another person you have to take care of the heart, speaking metaphorically, of both not only one, they become one at the time to decide together when taking care of each other.
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