How to improve self – esteem
self – esteem is extremely important and affects many things, such as satisfaction with life. However, many people are susceptible to a reduction in well -being, either as a result of a failure, anxiety, stress or high levels of cortisol in the blood.
Although it is not easy, it is worth working in positive self – esteem. Guy Winch, a psychologist with more than twenty years of experience and speaker of TED, explains that the problem is that our self – esteem is not constant and can even change every hour.
To learn to deal with this, the psychologist presented 5 rapid techniques to improve his self – esteem.
1. The use of positive statements
Positive thinking makes us believe what we think. It is a popular and simple way to build self – esteem. Winch points out, however, that there is a serious problem: positive statements can make people with low self – esteem feel worse, since the thoughts of the style ‘achieve success’ usually contradict their own beliefs, especially when a person is Feel incompetent or even lazy. The expert suggests that instead of convincing himself, he should think in this way: ‘I will persist until I can achieve the success I want.’
two. The distinction between competition and positive attributes
Winch points out that self – esteem grows as we demonstrate skills and achievements that are important in different areas of our lives. For example, when someone has a great predisposition to run, they should register in a marathon and train with other players. If someone else likes to cook, he should invite his friends to dinner. – It’s about realizing each other’s advantages and skills and finding opportunities to develop or use them in the race itself – emphasizes the expert.
3. Receive compliments
When we think badly, other people will find it difficult to change. Winch points out that we are much less willing to accept fulfilled, although it is when we need them most. The psychologist points out that although we hear them, we feel uncomfortable – and we will probably do it – it is worth learning to accept the beautiful words addressed to us, without questioning them. Instead of denying or showing shame, it is better to respond simply ‘thanks’ or ‘is kind on your part’. – The instinctive denial of the fulfillment will begin to fade over time, and we will learn to believe in the power of the beautiful things we hear.
4. There is no self-criticism
People tend to punish themselves for many things. – When our self – esteem is low, we often tend to "push’ even lower, "says Winch and advises us to try to fight this feeling. As soon as we heard an internal self-criticism, it is worth asking if we would say all these things to a close friend. Probably not. People usually feel more empathy for their friends than for themselves. So it is worth thinking twice before launching the self-criticism mechanism. Winch points out that this will help avoid the decrease in self – esteem and allow you to concentrate on the construction of a positive perception of yourself.
5. Personal experience
Winch says it’s the best way to build quickly. When we separate from someone important to us, it is a good exercise to make a list of qualities that make us a good partner. If it’s not being promoted at work, the psychologist recommends that he write everything that makes us good at work and why it is important and why his colleagues appreciate us. Winch recommends that you do this exercise daily for a week and whenever necessary. Building self – esteem is not easy and requires work, but Winch emphasizes that this is a job that will not be wasted.
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