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CONCEPTUAL ANALYSIS: Behavioral management of jealousy
The term jealousy comes from the Greek Zealous alludes to the emotion we have before the suspicion that we create either real or imaginary of the threat to a relationship that we consider valuable in the case of a key mechanism for both men and women. Men and women think different about the infidelities, sexual or emotional that are studied by two great theories: sociocultural and evolutionary. The evolutionary defends the concern that men have in the face of sexual infidelity and a female emotional evil.
On the other hand, sociocultural raises the social function of jealousy that consists in preserving the intimacy of oneself. On the other hand, for psychologists it is a four -year relationship where the rival, a member of the couple, the component of the victim of jealousy and the community, which has the function of monitoring compliance with the rules that to the rules thatOver the years we have been normalizing and inhibiting the behaviors that contradict these behaviors. Our culture is responsible for determining what situation is threatening, when that situation is really a danger and under what conditions the manifestation of jealousy is required. Therefore, the social structure in which we live is a determining factor in the perception of threat.
Since its birth, the human being develops a first link that eventually translates into a romantic link. This attachment is not always safe and quiet, sometimes insecurity, doubt and fear of losing the person and with it an obsessive concern for this. Jealousy are universal, there are in all cultures and even in non -romantic relationships. Jealousy is an innate discomfort response that arises from the threat of loss of a relationship.
Despite being considered negative, they can be seen by the subject as something favorable. Jealousy start from the notion of possession, insecurity and fear of loss. The role of jealousy in human life is to maintain the exclusivity of emotional relationships. In terms of sexual differences, men have been found to react to a greater extent to sexual infidelity;while women are more sensitive to the possible loss of attention and emotional resources.
However;Healthy and constructive love does not accept or demand an absorption on the other, but expects to share experiences;Not on idealizing or unconditionally accepting love, but intends a relationship of mutual help;It does not cause pain or uncertainty, but a manifestation of joy. When you really love, the other is not essential although very important. Addictive love destroys the self – esteem of the person who cannot cope. A relationship is addictive when it produces damage, harms physical and emotional health or represents labyrinths without exit or stories that can only end badly.
In these relationships the control mechanism is based on jealousy, and part of both the fear of losing the person and the myth of believing that if we are not special for that person we do not use or we are not good enough or attractive enough. The jealousy we will treat will be sexual jealousy that, like infidelity, have many meanings. Sex-affective jealousy is made up of a set of painful feelings and emotions that arise around the fear of the loss of the person and lead the affected person to be very vigilant and intrusive with their partner.
An example related to the jealousy associated with infidelity would be the belief that still endures in our society that jealousy in a relationship measure love towards the other person and that these are inseparable to the feeling of love. To exemplify this situation we can mention phrases that are still heard today in our society such as: ‘If you love me, he wales or jeans because you love me’ to what the other person would answer: ‘I tell you because I care about.
The person who feels jealous receives a would be threats that would be the following;The jealous perceives people external to their relationship as a constant threat that want to damage the stability of their relationship and blames the couple to grant the opportunity to others to end up the relationship. Another reason may be that the unfaithful couple jealousy to their partner to reinsure itself that the other person is still interested in their person.
In these cases, the person to whom the jealousy is not caused by their partner that they have been caused by her, but that he blames the rival, that is, that third person who enters the relationship, this is usedso that in the event that the relationship continues to maintain cohesion with the other.
We can add to our study of jealousintimate and the trend within these to act violently.
Violence in the couple is the result of a set of attitudes such as;An intense emotional state closely related to attitudes of enmity, shortcomings in communication capacity in addition to the sum of problematic factors such as stress, alcohol consumption and drugs. These individuals are more possessive and jealous than those who do not have violent behavior. Sometimes jealousy justify an act of violence, due to the fact that it is not perceived in such a negative way.
This is because jealousy is seen as an act of understandable love in a stable relationship. Some studies conducted with couples suffering from this type of violence, confirm that they tend to perceive jealousy as indicators of love and commitment to the relationship. However, jealousy is not part of love.
It is more in a society like the current one is barely glimpsed the evolutionary (economic) advantages of commitment, since today’s woman no longer needs the ancestral figure of the male to feed their children. Marital pro-processing or investment arguments are dispossessed because the social situation in turn is different. The woman does not need the male’s commitment to her economic survival. If he is next to him it is because he wants, not because I need it.
Although infidelities in the couple and jealousy are increasing. Objectives of a program aimed at young people about love and prevention of violence in the couple our goal is to raise awareness among the early youth the difference between love and violence in the couple.
As for the program that we will carry out, it would consist of a small play in which situations that occur daily in couples in which jealousy stand out and sometimes these derive in couple violence are shown. We believe that by showing current situations with which they can also feel identified, they can also take appropriate measures to prevent situations.
Finally, it should be noted that the behavior of jealousy, infidelity or simple fear of losing the person who attracts us or like is closely related to the fact that monogamy is not something natural but something that we have artificially created in oursociety, in which one looks bad to have a stable relationship with a person and go to bed with others outside the relationship.
To conclud. Love is never to possess someone or decide what they can do or not. Jealousy does not justify violence. So are you going to let someone control you? And you, are you going to try to control someone to feel with more power?
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