The importance of couple communication
Introduction
"To communicate effectively, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this knowledge as a guide for our communication with others". Anthony Robbins.
The present research will talk about the communication in a couple, their romantic relationship in which individuals feel good when sharing their lives and projects with others that provide their support, advise and respect.
The characteristics that we should all know to have good communication with our partner and how to avoid or misunderstand their words or actions that can lead us to a discussion with it. Likewise, it leads us to better know what he likes or dislikes.
The importance of expressing yourself, giving views and criticisms, and as you should do it, as well as how to know how to listen, act and have tolerance with the other person so as not to hurt them.
The couple is one of the central aspects of the life of a human being. Once the human being reaches the world, communication is the most important factor that determines the type of relationships it will have with the closest people, to later implement it in other relationships.
The study of communication and negotiation style that is carried out during the couple conflict are very important, since they allow us to understand the aspects that favor greater satisfaction within the relationship.
Communication in the couple
Couple love is that feeling that two people who respect, value, communicate and deliver the best of themselves depending on the well -being and balance of their relationship.
The relationship is sustained in two fundamental pillars: love and dialogue that is exchanging views, reasons of both, possible solutions but always listening to the other with good will and knowing how to accept with humility and simplicity everything positive that the other that the othercontributes. If any of these two elements are missing, we are not talking about a marriage or couple, but of a man and a woman who live together without any deep relationship.
This is why communication is the vital nutrient of every relationship, talking to our partner, making known the feelings, what we think or do, is one of the bases to succeed in love.
It is based on two key points: knowing how to listen and know how. It should not only be to defend our own convictions and points of view, which would simply lead to an inaccessible and inflexible type of communication.
When we start a relationship as a couple, one of our main objectives, especially at first, is to share our most intimate aspects and thus establish a strong bond of union.
Most relationships are born with openness and happiness but often lead to hostility, conflicts, control and subjecting, which generates the disagreements plagued by anguish, suffering and frustrations, especially in the subject that is usually the woman is usually the woman. Often, from the first moments we tend to make three mistakes:
- We do not know each other, because a large part of our life we have acted and thought as society expects from us, so we do not know what we need and want our partner and how to ask for it properly.
- We do not see our partner as it really is, since we see them through: falling in love, of the image that wants us to convey and what we project (we put in it, that part that is of us but we do not know).
- We believe that if the other person loves us, he has to know what we want and need, to give it to us, without having to ask for it.
In these last two aspects, we are talking about meeting the other person and allowing him to know us. We cannot establish a good relationship if we base it on our ability to guess.
Many people expect their partners to read their minds, assuming that, as they are a couple, they will be magically tune in, and they will be able to know what they feel, want or think about the other with each gesture or look. As romantic that sounds, I’m sorry that it does not happen, so it is better to use the words and be the clearest thing you can speak when speaking.
Most couples who share their feelings equally and have a greater degree of acceptance, respect and frankness of each other, on equal terms, are those who enjoy a harmonious and satisfactory relationship.
It is necessary to understand that when we express something, verbal or bodily, the person who receives the message will have a reaction or response and it may not be what we expected, this is due to past experiences, values and personal beliefs, whichThey can be affecting, therefore, it is necessary to speak clearly and ask everything that is not clear to us.
Coexistence is gradually giving way to what both can really offer and create in unison. In this way what in its beginningthe relationship that is formed from what each one can contribute in favor of both of them equally.
This makes it possible to be as really, and how much can contribute to the relationship, or as it can happen, when to remove or deteriorate said relationship by imposing or trying to subject to the other person, which then gives way of love to heartbreak,The conflicts and, almost always to discrimination and violence over the person, which can end the breakdown of the couple with the consequent psychological affectation of other of its members, especially the sons and daughters if they have them.
This also can reach infidelity in which one of the two members in a couple has some kind of relationship with a third person. There are many people who think that if there was no sex there is no infidelity, for them kisses would not count, other more extremists believe that just think about being or fantasizing with another person to commit an infidelity. And some other people who, for example, are allowed to hysteriquear and seduce people constantly, getting to start long talks and love dishes do not consider it an infidelity, although we should see what their partners think of that.
While this may sound very clear, sometimes the limits of what is considered an infidelity varies from person to person either by their thoughts, values that have.
For example, in monogamy, all this is considered as infidelity since it is based on emotional and sexual relationships as the exclusivity of the couple, this means that there is never more than one couple at the same time.
On the contrary, there is polygamy that refers to a marriage relationship with more than two individuals, it is accepted in many cultures and religions. But it is important to highlight that occasional sexual relations, orgies, prostitution and the exchange of couple are not framed within what is known as polygamy, they must always be lasting relationships with more than two individuals, not casual encounters.
So, it is important that you and your partner have good communication to know if they enjoy the same tastes or thoughts in a relationship.
Love is only possible when we can be and express ourselves from which we really are, authentically, but open to this level with another person often raises fear, and even fear.
For some, the fear of being physically and psychologically damaged by uncovering his heart and opening to the other his most expensive feelings and desires, he can lead to closing in the control and submission relationships but the happiness that such a link brings will be scarce, it will be scarce or null.
To deny or express what bothers you or affects, for pride or fears, only leads to accumulate a tension that will surely explode one day harming both and in particular the most vulnerable person. In order for communication expression to be constructive, enriching for both members, it is crucial that there is a certain agreement or equal conditions when manifesting, listening and understanding the opinions of the other. If a criticism loaded with aggressiveness and authoritarianism is made, it is difficult to be well listening and accepted, this form of discrepancy, it is important that both members of the couple are equally prepared to attend, assimilate and accept criticism, provided they express themselves frompolite way.
If your partner does not give you what you need or expect, do not get angry, tell him and help him to know you and understand you. When you discuss her, keep calm and do not approach you only to defend your point of view. Listen with empathy what she means and try to understand, not only what she tells you, but also what she feels. Take care of their tone of voice and body language, because sometimes, it is more important how something is said, than the pronounced words.
conclusion
In my opinion, good communication strengthens a relationship, since, a virtuous circle is established that improves the quality of our life. For all this, it is necessary to establish a respectful and fluid dialogue that is accompanied by congruent body communication.
We do not need to look. It is very important to have communication in difficult times since it is when we need more support and it is always good to talk to someone, much better when it is with the couple you love.
Many times we wait for the other person to guess what we feel and we do this for fear of how our partner will react, that’s why we leave what he believes and we simply accept, on the contrary we cling to our opinions and make lessTo the other person, but this is a serious mistake since we do not allow him the opportunity to really know each other and in the end we are not feeling sincere with the person and much less with ourselves.
With this we will realize how important the relationship is so important and if it is that person with whom we want to spend our days, since if not, it is best to speak it and end the relationship.
We need to know how to stop when something we don’t like are the jealousy or actions that bother you. Do not remain silent in any, always and how much you know how to respect yourself so that they also respect you.
References
- (Pdf) dialogue and communication in the couple: ps. Jenny Peña Rodríguez Ps. Dayana Romero Cuadros.
- (PDF) The communication of the couple relationship: Lic. Marlene Escobar Peraza, University of Pedagogical Sciences "Enrique José Varona", Cuba.
- (Internet) Communication in the couple: Silvia Russek.
- The art of loving: Erich fromm.
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