Enjoy life
Introduction
If you like Latin American tropical music, you will surely have noticed that half a song you can hear the cry of “To enjoy!". This wise advice of Celia Cruz not only has echo at parties and dance clues, but now it is also heard in the psychology laboratories of some of the best universities in the world. Until recently, psychologists had studied pain a lot, but very little joy.
Positive psychology proposes to investigate what makes life worth it, in the words of Christopher Peterson, one of the founders of this branch of psychology, and among the experiences that make life worth the penalty is to be able to enjoy this. In French, the term Joie de Vivre refers precisely to that ability to enjoy life. Today, there are studies that have found that joy capacity is one of the most important components of happiness.
Developing
If I asked you to make an album with photographs of some of the most joyful moments of your life, which would you choose? Maybe the day your son was born, the one of your wedding or when you approved the last exam and graduated. That surprise party that your friends organized when you turned 18 or the tribute that your fellow colleagues dedicated to you on your retirement day. Or you may also choose the little daily pleasures, such as the smoking coffee every morning at the corner bar, the walk with children to school or meetings to chat with friends … Each of us has their own joys,But, at the same time, these have common elements.
What characterizes pleasant experiences? Barbara Fredrickson, one of the most important researchers in the field of positive emotions, has detected that people feel pleasure when we are in a known and safe environment, when things are going well, and when the situation requires little effort on our partin this precise moment. Bárbara Fredrickson describes the feeling of joy as follows: “Joy feels bright and light. The colors seem more vivid. You jump with each step. Your face lights with a smile and an internal shine. You want to absorb everything, to play, to throw yourself in the head and get involved with the world ”.
There are people who seem to enjoy naturally, but can you learn to enjoy more from life? Yes, it is the answer endorsed by Fredrickson’s research and its collaborators. They have found that an important aspect of joy has to do with self – esteem, with believing that we deserve to enjoy good things.
Another important facet of pleasure and one way of enjoying more is to learn to Sa-Bo-Re-ar, to pay attention and take time to appreciate every pleasant aspect of things: the smell, texture and taste of a stew;the aroma and color of a flower;The melody and harmony of a song, the singer’s voice bell … there is a saying in English that says that "stop to smell the roses". Precisely, not letting us dominate and stop to perceive more consciously what we have around us is the way to savor more. Savoring allows us to enjoy our experiences more intensely and for a longer time.
To savor more, we have times to change our circumstances. For example, we can enjoy the family company more if we decide to turn off the TV and not answer the phone during dinner, or we can maximize the enjoyment of the conversation with a friend if we talk while we go around a park. When we go on vacation, the change of context is total and that can be one of the reasons why we usually enjoy when we travel.
So how can we enjoy our daily life as if we were on vacation? One of the keys can be in the attention we put to things. We tend to ignore the "known", to take it for granted, while the novelty causes us curiosity and openness to experiences. If we can see the normal with curiosity and attention, we will surely enjoy it more. Australian therapist Michael White used a very beautiful phrase, taken from the French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu, to explain it to us: "make the domestic exotic". We know that people are "social animals" and we are also in what they respect when enjoying: when we share the pleasant experiences and good news, when we celebrate together, we multiply our joy.
So one of the simplest ways to enjoy more of life is to share our experiences with other people. This has the advantage that, when we tell others a pleasant moment of our life, we return to live a little and, thus, we extend its positive effects, in addition to the fact that we bring us closer to the people with whom we share it and strengthensour relation. Then I offer you a very useful exercise to identify the moments of pleasure, which consists in answering a questionnaire created by Barbara Fredrickson. Remember that we usually find joy in safe contexts, when things are going well and when we don’t need to strive much:
- When was the last time I felt joy?
- Where was it?
- What was he doing?
- Who were you with?
- What else causes me that feeling?
- Can I think about more things that make me feel joy?
- What can I do to cultivate joy in my life? I invite you to identify at least one thing you can do to enjoy a little more and put it into practice today.
If I asked you to make an album with photographs of some of the most joyful moments of your life, which would you choose? Maybe the day your son was born, the one of your wedding or when you approved the last exam and graduated. That surprise party that your friends organized when you turned 18 or the tribute that your fellow colleagues dedicated to you on your retirement day. Or you may also choose the little daily pleasures, such as the smoking coffee every morning at the corner bar, the walk with children to school or meetings to chat with friends ..
Each of us has their own joys, but, at the same time, they have common elements.What characterizes pleasant experiences? Barbara Fredrickson, one of the most important researchers in the field of positive emotions, has detected that people feel pleasure when we are in a known and safe environment, when things are going well, and when the situation requires little effort on our partin this precise moment.
Bárbara Fredrickson describes the feeling of joy as follows: “Joy feels bright and light. The colors seem more vivid. You jump with each step. Your face lights with a smile and an internal shine. You want to absorb everything, to play, to throw yourself in the head and get involved with the world ”. There are people who seem to enjoy naturally, but can you learn to enjoy more from life? Yes, it is the answer endorsed by Fredrickson’s research and its collaborators. They have found that an important aspect of joy has to do with self – esteem, with believing that we deserve to enjoy good things.
Another important facet of pleasure and one way of enjoying more is to learn to Sa-Bo-Re-ar, to pay attention and take time to appreciate every pleasant aspect of things: the smell, texture and taste of a stew;the aroma and color of a flower;The melody and harmony of a song, the singer’s voice bell … there is a saying in English that says that "stop to smell the roses". Precisely, not letting us dominate and stop to perceive more consciously what we have around us is the way to savor more.
Conclusions
Savoring allows us to enjoy our experiences more intensely and for a longer time. To savor more, sometimes we have to change our circumstances. For example, we can enjoy the family company more if we decide to turn off the TV and not answer the phone during dinner, or we can maximize the enjoyment of the conversation with a friend if we talk while we go around a park.
When we go on vacation, the change of context is total and that can be one of the reasons why we usually enjoy when we travel. So how can we enjoy our daily life as if we were on vacation? One of the keys can be in the attention we put to things. We tend to ignore the "known", to take it for granted, while the novelty causes us curiosity and openness to experiences. If we can see the normal with curiosity and attention, we will surely enjoy it more. Australian therapist Michael White used a very beautiful phrase, taken from French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu, to explain it to us:
"Make the domestic exotic". We know that people are "social animals" and we are also in regards to enjoying: when we share the pleasant experiences and good news, when we celebrate together, we multiply our joy.
So one of the simplest ways to enjoy more of life is to share our experiences with other people. This has the advantage that, when we tell others a pleasant moment of our life, we return to live a little and, thus, we extend its positive effects, in addition to the fact that we bring us closer to the people with whom we share it and strengthensour relation.
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